I'm drive I can fine osifer
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
