Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
Randomize
