but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
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