Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
And my parents said I crawled through the house
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize
