my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Randomize
