i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Randomize
