You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
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