Need sex. Gaining weight.
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
