wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
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