it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
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