Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
Randomize
