dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
Randomize
