Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
This is my gift to your gina
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Randomize
