are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
Randomize
