when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
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