found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
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