the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
Randomize
