I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
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