I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
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