I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese.
Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days?
i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
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