He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
Randomize
