So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
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