How'd it feel making her break her religion?
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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