U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
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