lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
