The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
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