actually, I'm a sock model
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
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