Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
Randomize
