you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
Randomize
