Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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