Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
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