I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
porn star boner night. come get it.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
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