hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
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