Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
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