my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
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