I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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