I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
Randomize