At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
Randomize
