he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
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