Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
Just invented taco cereal.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
Randomize
