scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
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