i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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