i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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