My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
two words: eviction party
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
