why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
im having a threesome with these popsicles
He kissed a someone with a penis
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
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