living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
