i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
I enjoy the company of your penis
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
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