what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
Randomize
