remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Randomize
