i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
