No subtext here. People are naked.
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Randomize
