oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
Randomize
