Fuck u you updated twitter but didn't answer my text
I know you're alive
Small penises have feelings too.
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
Randomize
