also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
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