Walk of Shame. In a state park.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
I have aggressive nipples.
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