it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
