oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
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she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
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him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
And then my night got REAL pukey
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
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