from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
Randomize
