I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
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