Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize