Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Randomize
