i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
