lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
Randomize
