My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
Randomize
