You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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