I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
