i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
Randomize
