im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
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