I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
people are starting to question the shark bite story
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize
