I hate all girls vehemently.
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
Randomize
